Saturday, December 31, 2016

yesterday shows another day is here

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Due to my ~stagnant~ student responsibility in order to focus on final project, I have free time in my pocket and has been spending half of December meeting up with good ol' friends, if not having my shadow as my own company.
This time were my female high school friends' turn. Felt like just yesterday we were fooling around in our plaid uniform. Soon we will no longer be students.

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We met up at Heynature Café, located in the area where I spent most of my teenage days. Few months ago, coming back after much time lingering around my university, I was shocked how Kelapa Gading has changed after I graduated high school. Especially how café and coffee shop breed so many minions alike. But with those Insta-worthy interiors, I wouldn't complain. It was my wish for these kind of places to open, only several years ago! Anyway the photos were all taken from my phone, should have brought camera but as I said before, I was lazy valued practicality.

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I love the freedom of being adult, but chatting about stupid student shenanigans, such as how the Biology lab was almost burned during our practicum or ghost encounter at the first floor restroom, are always needed to remind me how less responsibility was needed back then and how I have grown since.


It's the last day or 2016. With this blog, it's been six years of a story of growth well-told (I hope you don't have that much free time, but if you compare my earlier post with the current, the difference is very obvious I am so ashamed!!!11 Still keeping them anyway so I can always look back).

2016 in a nutshell: I have no regret this year. Here's to more joy in the ordinary; Happy New Year! 🎆

Monday, December 26, 2016

let the world watch on as I become a poet with no purpose

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It's the end of 2016 already. And alongside the publication of this post, I scarcely dodge to fall victim to another blog post deficiency like the one I did last year (congratulations, self!).

It's apparent that the story here contains less and less identity. More like, fabricated post I wrote as a custom? An irony, I know, while I intend to make this blog my personal space in the first place. Why, you ask? Maybe because it just feels better to reveal nothing and face less judgement as the consequence. Pretty naive to expect the lion not to eat me because I don't fancy eating wild cat.

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Anyway! Let's drive this blog to its earlier purpose and catch up of what I've gained beside my weight (heh) throughout the year. I hope I can recount them well!

In 2016 I learned...
That my own sentiment often clouds my judgement. Or that most of the time I try to justify my unwise action as right just because of the temporary emotion I feel. So starting from the latter half of this year, I try not to solely rely on my feeling but also consider the problem the rational way to achieve decision. It takes more time, sure. It's also ducking overwhelming when you over-analyze everything but gradually I'm learning to differentiate what matters and what doesn't.

To become more honest towards my own feeling especially in terms of dealing with human. Social anxiety has always played a big part in my suppressed inner emotion, that for most of the cases have built up for years.
For this one, I must say that living the idgaf attitude has been nothing but delightful so far, wonder why I didn't do it earlier. Uuugh, sacrificing my well-being is the last thing I'm willing to do.

Those are the major ones. Others worth mentioning include:
dealing with irrational fears (still on progress), working with Solidworks, how to turn to my shallow humor sense as a personal armor, that I have a low alcohol tolerance, new languages, more people skill to hide this extreme introversion tendency.


Significant events of the year...
First big student event that I lead at university department. Also last August marked the end of my presiding period at student council. In hindsight, for these opportunities this homebody potato is thankful.

Participating in design competitions. I applied to a few but "only" won one, alongside a bunch of people some more. Not bad, not bad at all for the experience of getting free pair of shoes as a prize and seeing your own design being exhibited.

My 2-month-internship in Bangkok is an experience I will forever treasure. The whole drama during application to finally being accepted is a tale to tell. The first day I arrived, had a chat with my supervisor and she said being a foreigner with no Thai knowledge, my inquiry was close to be rejected at first 5555.

First time living abroad, in a non English-speaking country, where no one knew you. Any day not spent working was a time for exploring. Detachment from toxins, everywhere I went was a gift of the sight, sound, smell, and heart. Of course the information overload was overwhelming at first. But the excitement of being in a somewhat new environment won. More stories later, I promise.

First surgery. I had wisdom tooth removal last month and boy am I glad I stayed at home the whole week. It hurt to the top of my head.


How am I different this year than last...
In terms of habit, the fact that I'm getting older is so apparent that now I'm not as restless as I used to be huhu. So I started to watch my sugar intake, eat more fruit and veggies if I remember....Uh, and tried to exercise regularly. Recently I picked up meditation again and attempted to connect to a higher spiritual level. Hope all goes well.

Practicality. I did wardrobe clean out few months ago and donated the uncomfortable clothes. I stick mostly to the basic ones now. Also, I avoid bringing camera as much as I can, as my phone is waaay lighter. I don't rely on my legs or uncomfortable public transportation most of the time because I prefer spending money for aircon-ed Uber or of the sort. And the list goes on...
Honestly speaking now, the inconvenience I managed to endure before is unimaginable.

Ear piercings. I had additional 3 first half of 2016. The wounds are yet to heal so I'm currently postponing the plan of having another cartilage piercing. Somehow these voids adorned with pretty earrings act as a reminder that I'm in total charge of what I'm capable of. It didn't hurt that bad hehe.


2016 was one hell of a real neato ride. I have almost of my prayers answered, my question replied, and my perspectives refined. Because thinking of what next year might bring makes me anxious, please excuse me while I'm going to drown myself in expectations for 2017. And curse this never ending unhealthy cycle afterwards.
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